Soul_Say_Yes_Cover_for_KindleThere are times in life when we will receive a barrage of thumbs down grenades one after the other.  When this happens it makes us stop and question our self-worth, who we are, purpose and even sometimes reason to live.  Oh yes, it happens and it happens to the best of folks no matter how they try to avoid it or think they are beyond the thumbs’ down of life.

By the time we have reached early adulthood, an internal dialogue has already developed into some form of self-belief about our self-worth, sense of belonging and abilities.

If that self-worth is intact then when others decline us we have no problem with it; but if not, when the accolades stop, we become confused and baffled and feel a sense of rejection.  Dealing with rejection is not always easy, whether it is not getting a job promotion, being dumped in a personal relationship, friends not returning phone calls or not included on the A list or any other social groups.  The feelings that tends to arise when our self-worth is not intact always seem to send a message that somehow we are not good enough; and, if we were good enough we somehow would have been the one chosen or the accolades would have never stopped.

We beat ourselves up trying to make sense as to why we were not chosen.  What is interesting is when we play the lottery, we play with an understanding that we may not win and it does not affect our self-worth the way it does when humans do not choose us.  We tend to respond with a logic that we clearly knew we were taking a chance with the possibility of no pay off; but, when we take a chance with humans, we respond with disillusion that something surely must be wrong with us or it is their loss for not buying into us.  It sounds good when saying it, but in actuality it is no more than a relief to our inner distress when we lack insight regarding our self-worth.

It is easy to blame others when things are not going the way we would like, because we do not have to take the responsibility of the work needed to achieve and complete endeavors.  If the brutally honest truth is told, you and you alone are responsible for your self-acceptance, which is based on your unique design by your higher power and how it fits into the greater good of all.  Meaning, no matter what challenges we are presented in life, you are totally responsible for the outcome of your life.

If we further delve into the truth of this matter, we create some of our challenges simply by depending and expecting others to say yes or no to our future.  Meaning we take no actions until someone else say go ahead, or God said, it is your season now.  No one else has the ability to understand, appreciate and accept your design other than you and your maker because self-acceptance starts with you and your creator.

Now hang in here with me for a few seconds, I want to walk you through the importance of accepting yourself 

There is a scripture that many folks often refer to as God wants us to prosper.  However, when I look closely at the the verses prior and after the scripture of reference, I realized that John wished some folks that they would prosper, along with their health the same as their soul.  Now of course God wants us to prosper (deuteronomy 8 ch, 18 verse) but the point that John actually made was not so much about worldly collections, but to grow, then testify and walk in the truth that was inside of them.  (3rd John, chapter one and verses 1-3).  But many people have grabbed the second verse on prosper and interpret that into earthly wealth and never speak about our truth. 

In other words living outside of your truth is reshaping your natural design which effects your ability to live out the purpose of your creation.

Everyone wants to feel liked, validated at some level but self-acceptance is beyond being liked, pretty, handsome or part of an inner circle.  It is accepting the core of your truth in the absence of others and is the very key element to your life here on earth.

It is also the key to your birthright of visions, dreams, and goals.  Rejecting yourself when others do not recognize your worth and/or give you the go ahead to move forward is rejecting God’s purpose for your life, as well as exalting and valuing another human’s opinion above your creator.  Your creator’s opinion is that, you were uniquely made for his purpose.  Now that changes the whole concept of what to strive for and how to go about achieving your fit here in this life

 Roman chapter 8, verse 28-

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose

1st Corinthian chapter 6; verse 19

What? Know you not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not of your own.  For you were bought with a price, glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s

You may say, you have a right to feelings of insecurity around others after being unwarrantedly criticized and beaten up by what is accepted or not in society.  You may even say, that you had a bad childhood that contributed to your self-worth?  Okay, I get and understand both perspectives, since I also used to reject my natural endeavors as a result of unwarranted criticism from others regarding my worth, and fit; but no longer to the point of adopting and imposing their doubts of God and gloomy perspectives on me.  There is always opposing thoughts lurking around where people form opinions of who they think someone else ought to be; but without self-acceptance, we are subjective to the swills of others.

Now this does not dismiss receiving feedback from others, but we take what they say into consideration and if it fits into our unique purpose of God, then ok, but if not, dismissed with the quickness.

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Ms. Cynthia

Ms. Cynthia

Ms. Cynthia is a licensed Professional Counselor who has worked in various mental health levels of care to include private practice, inpatient, residential, partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient, outpatient clinics and utilization management. She is the Author of "Soul Say Yes" and "ABC’s of Relationships".

  • http://www.SoulSayYes.com Ms. Cynthia

    Let the words of my mouth, and meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thine sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer- Psalms chapter 19, verse 14